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Thursday 31 January 2013

Lies and misdemeanors: The real reason for the failure of Catholic marriages is contraception

Religion News Servicequoted on another site, here linked, has an article  on the Pope's new comment on annulments  Now, when I worked for three parishes in RICA, as the coordinator and speaker, as well as group leader, it was clear, working with the priests, that many people seeking annulments were confused on the use of the term immaturity. Immaturity has never been a canonically given reason for annulments  Never. If judicial boards were deciding this as a cause, they were, simply wrong, as one can grow out of immaturity. It is not, unless a mental condition or personality disorder, a permanent cause. Those mental or psychological conditions are impediments to marriage. The inability to make a commitment must be based on something other than immaturity,

Most people on the day of their marriage are somewhat immature about what the sacrament really is all about. Many of our parents (and I mean those of the Greatest Generation-the parents of the Baby Boomers) got married very young. My dad was 24 and my mom was 19, albeit six days short of 20. Dad turned 25 a few months later.

Age has nothing to do with immaturity. Some people are mature at 20 and some immature at 36.

The conditions for annulment have been clear for years and years and years.

If local chancery offices and diocesan boards misused their power in granting annulments  then the Pope has the power and, indeed, necessity to change the canon law. But, canon law is not the problem. Interpretation has been sloppy.

Thank God for this good Pope.

The other HUGE elephant in the closet regarding Catholic marriages are the numbers of couples getting married in mortal sin and ergo, not receiving sanctifying grace in the sacrament, and sometimes, adding sin to sin.

There are too many couples allowed to marry in the Church from a cohabitating relationship.

Contraception, also a mortal sin, blocks the reception of sanctifying grace. 

i contend that many marriages fail as the couple did not receive grace and kept sinning going into marriage. 

No graces in the relationship leads the couple further and further away from God. Can He and does He intervene? Yes. But one must not presume. I know very good people who have converted from contracepting marriages. But, this is rare. They repented, and went to Confession and never sinned that sin again.

In order for anyone to receive the grace of a sacrament, one must be in grace to receive grace, except for Confession and the last anointing. That sacrament must be offered by priests, and yes, even demanded, before a Catholic marriage takes place. If the couple have no intention of not contracepting, for example, that would constitute a bad Confession and ergo, no grace. 

God will not be mocked. He is not deceived. Be not deceived, God is not mocked.Galatians 6:7 DR

Repenting of contraception opens the door to new life in a marriage. Confession is necessary and salutary.

Do not be afraid.

And, if one of the two refuse to have children, lying, perhaps, before marriage, that is grounds for annulment. Being closed to life by will is an impediment. 

Those who take part in the sacrament of marriage must be open to life.

Anything else is not only a false commitment before God and between each other, but a misunderstanding of one of the main purposes of marriage.

Sadly, many priests have led couples astray on these points and condoned contraception between Catholic couples.

God help those bad priests. They have weakened the Church.

If you are contracepting, please pray and stop. You cannot enter into the journey towards God while doing so. 

Ladies, if a man wants you to move in with him before marriage, he does not love you. If he wants you to contracept, he does not love you. He only loves his own convenience and pleasure.